Swamiji to a new comer:
You
say that you are afraid to come near me because you might have to take a leap
into the unknown; you are afraid because you are unsure of what might
happen. Understand first: only because
you don't know what might happen, it is called the unknown! You will never know what lies there and that
is beauty of it. Our are not meant to
think about the unknown because the very word unknown says that it can never be
known! Initially, it is natural to be
afraid because the ego thrives on a secure feeling. When something becomes unknown, the ego feels
threatened; it doesn't know what to do!
With
this fear and insecurity, a hundred and one questions will arise: am I doing
the right thing? Can I trust him? How do I know he is my Master? What if things don't work out with him? And what not...!
You
must have a clear understanding about where these questions arise from. They arise only out of the insecurity that
comes with the fear of the unknown. When
this understanding doesn't happen, you go behind these questions and you fall
prey to the ego. And this is how you miss the Master or delay the process of
your own enlighten. To take the leap
into the unknown is the greatest thing that you can do for yourself once you
have found the Master. To be around the
Master in the greatest gift possible; it is the greatest blessing; but you are
afraid. You say that you want to
experience silence; that you want to experience peace. Being in the master's presence is the
greatest silence that you can experience.
And nothing has to be done on your part.
The Master does everything! You just
need to be open and allow the Master shower the experience on you and drown you
in eternal ecstasy.
To
be a disciple needs only one thing: openness.
Openness is allowing what has to happen to happen. What you are doing now is stopping yourself
from opening up. What you need to do is
stop the stopping. There should be no holding
back on your part. If you have the
courage, simply jump and don't look back.
But
Swamiji, I think I have finally figured out my problem. I feel that if I fully jump, my freedom will
be lost. I feel that if I completely let
go as You said, I won't have any freedom at all.
You
have missed the point I am trying to make!
The moment you have jumped, you have let go of all your self-restraint
which is binding you all the time. Then
there will be no boundaries to bind you.
And that is ultimate freedom! I
am defining freedom for you here! Do you
understand? Your question is on freedom
but I am defining the very freedom for you first! Freedom is breaking free from all the
self-restraint and taking the leap into the Master's arms. What you think as freedom and afraid of
losing is actually your conditioning that is binding you!
Your
everyday responsibilities and the emotional attachment to them are the things
that are binding you. Once you jump, the
Master takes over everything. Then it is
enough if you have deep trust in whatever the Master says; things will happen
on their own. Even if he tells you to
jump off Mount Everest, you will simply do it, because He has told you!
But
don't worry, I will not tell you to jump
off mountains; relax!
Being
a disciple means to live innocently in the space of the Master. It means to trust him in anything, no matter
what he says. All your logic, all your
nonsencial mental setups will then simply leave you. The Master's words will become your inner
chatter; the Master's grace will become your body language. This is the meaning of living with the
Master.
One
more thing: living with the Master does not mean you should completely drop out
of society. First of all, understand:
you don't need to drop out of society, you only need to drop out of its grip
over you. You only need to drop out of
its clutches and be free. You can never
physically run away from society. Be
very clear: you cannot suppress society and hope to overcome it. That is not the way. As time goes by, as you de-condition
yourself, as all the binding thoughts leave you, society will leave you on its
own! So I tell you: do you drop out of
society; just drop out of your past, just drop out of the emotional attachment
to your past. Society carries your past
for you; it carries your sense of time and space related to the past. So when you stop bothering about the past,
society will automatically drop you.
Why
you do you think I give spiritual names to all of you? It is an indication of a new life. You see: you are identified with your
original name only because people call you by it. Your name carries your identity and your identity
stores your past. So when you name is
changed, just imagine what will happen!
First thing: the Master has given you a name and that too with his name
in it (as in Nithya or Ananda). Second
thing: everyone around you starts calling you by that name! When this happens, the past that was attached
to the previous name simply starts to leave you. A new beginning happens. Of course, you will accumulate new memories,
but now the Master is there; so first of all, you will not accumulate negative
emotional baggage; second, he will see that whatever memories happen in you do
not bother you in any undesirable way.
Becoming
a disciple means leaving yourself in the Master's hands and trusting him to the
depths of your being. It means simply
jumping without thinking twice about anything.
It is like you are in dark forest and the master in the only one who
knows the way through it. He may not
have a torch to make feel secure and make you place your faith on him; but he
has held out his hand which is more than enough. Whether you allow him to guide you or not is
up to you. If you allow him to guide
you, he will lead you thought it. If you
resist, he will wait until you relax.
The
attitude of the disciple is feminine.
Whether you are male or female does not matter. There are many women who are logical and
insensitive. And in the same way, there
are many men who are emotional and sensitive to things around them. When I say "feminine", I mean that
you should be sensitive and passive to the Master's energy and everything
around you.
Be
very clear: I am not telling you to live in a docile fashion. No!
All I am saying is to be deeply passive and trusting towards the
Master. It is the easiest way to awaken
your inborn intelligence. The attitude
of the disciple is that of intense openness with the awareness of everything
that happens inside him and outside of him.
In
the beginning, when the disciple comes in contact with the Master, his devotion
is only on the periphery. But as the
days go by, the devotion becomes more intense; the devotion gets installed
deeper and deeper. And as this happens,
intelligance blossoms.
I
am reminded of one young ashramite who is perfect example for a disciple. He operates out of sheer devotion. And because of this he is extremely
intelligent and aware. His awareness is
such that even outside of this department, he connects and gives suggestions
instantly. The other ashramites don't
particularly approve of this, because their work multiplies with his suggestions! But this boy doesn't care. And one more thing: because of his growing
intelligence, he takes on everything effortlessly and also technology never
baffles him. He seamlessly works his way
through.
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